Superman

We loved each-other with an intensity that was unmatched by others. It was young giggly love. It was passionate and exciting love. We loved each-other until it smothered us. It was love that brought explicit joy, deep and unwavering commitment, timeless satisfaction, but slow and powerful resentment, disappointment, neediness, and at the very end, our love formed a painful truth. We were unable to be without each other but unable to live our own lives with each-other. We were meant to be forever, never. He was my kryptonite. And that was a problem, because it meant, to some extent, for the rest of my life, I would have a connection with him, a bond, that is permanent and essentially helped write the history of who I am. So I owed him. Because without kryptonite, there is no Superman. I do not know how else to love, than how I loved him. It is all I know, and at times, all I want to know. Because our love felt like a miracle. I believed in love, and he believed in me. And that was enough. Until it wasn’t.

Black

You visit the wine country a lot now. I suppose much hasn't changed. Your hair is shorter, and you wear a black watch on your left hand. You have permanently shaved the goatee that I loved so much. Maybe a lot has changed. You do visit the wine country a lot now... You live in San Fransisco and people know you make money because of your car, and because you tell them. Did she get the better part of you? I wonder that sometimes. Is he changed now? Is he a joy to be around when he drinks? Is he more generous, and compromising with his emotions and his wallet? Does she laugh with him like I did? God could we laugh. And dance. I loved the way we danced. Can I make it rain with anger, and turn the world upside down and paint it black? Can I scream to you in just above a whisper that you ruined me. That you ruined us. And that as more time passes, the harder it becomes to mourn the loss of us, because I am losing me. Losing focus. Maybe that is because the world is black now. Maybe It's because you visit the wine country a lot now. With her.